So I wrote an outline for what I expected my life to look like from the perspective of when I moved home from Canada and first began to adjust to life here.
Sometimes when you write out your thoughts, you realize how ridiculous they are.
Or how sensible.
My thoughts today were a mixture of those two qualities, and as I planned out my life until about 2013 I realized something new:
I have no idea what God is doing here. Truly. I really don't know.
I never thought my life would look like this. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Cal State Fullerton is just as disappointing as I expected it to be. I like my professors and (some of) my classes, but Trinity was the perfect fit for me.
I still miss Trinity incredibly, and the thought that I have to be at CSUF for another year at least is really daunting. My GPA is slipping out of pure apathy. Paying for school drains my savings account every month, and I still don't even own a car. I love my family, but living at home is not something I want to do till I'm 25. I desperately miss my friends who reside in different states and countries.
BUT luckily God is the one in control, not me. The sermon at RockHarbor on Sunday was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was a reminder that my life isn't mine to worry about. God loves me, and He has a plan that is BETTER THAN MINE.
I keep telling myself that, hoping it will sink in. I know that He is good. He's shown me that more times than I can count. And strangely, I'm finding a peace in the chaos that is my life right now.
"Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."
No comments:
Post a Comment