Job 38
The LORD Answers Job
1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
2"Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
3 Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
4"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5 Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
6 On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
7 when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
8 "Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
9 when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
10 and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
11 and said, 'Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed'?
12 "Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
and caused the dawn to know its place,
13 that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
and the wicked be shaken out of it?
14 It is changed like clay under the seal,
and its features stand out like a garment.
15 From the wicked their light is withheld,
and their uplifted arm is broken.
16 "Have you entered into the springs of the sea,
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?
Declare, if you know all this.
19 "Where is the way to the dwelling of light,
and where is the place of darkness,
20 that you may take it to its territory
and that you may discern the paths to its home?
21 You know, for you were born then,
and the number of your days is great!
22 "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I have reserved for the time of trouble,
for the day of battle and war?
24 What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,
or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth?
25"Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain
and a way for the thunderbolt,
26 to bring rain on a land where no man is,
on the desert in which there is no man,
27 to satisfy the waste and desolate land,
and to make the ground sprout with grass?"
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Passion & Purity
SUCH a good book. Here are some of my favourite parts:
"But the question to precede all others, which finally determines the
course of our lives, is What do I really want? Was it to love what
God commands, and to desire what He promises? Did I want what I
wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?
Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of
Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His
Lordship."
"'When the will of God crosses the will of man,' Addison Leitch said,
'somebody has to die.' Life requires countless 'little' deaths -
occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to
God...It is not that everything that has anything to do with ourselves
is in itself wicked and deserving of death. It did not mean that when
Jesus said, 'Not my will...' There could not have been even the
smallest part of His will that was wicked. It was a choice to lay
down everything - the good He had done and the good He might do if He
was permitted to live - for the love of God...There is a big however.
It is this: We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God
could not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath
of life. We die in order to live."
"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear
uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting
the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts."
"Tomorrow was not our business; it was His. Letting it rest with Him
was the discipline for the day, and it was enough."
"But the question to precede all others, which finally determines the
course of our lives, is What do I really want? Was it to love what
God commands, and to desire what He promises? Did I want what I
wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?
Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of
Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His
Lordship."
"'When the will of God crosses the will of man,' Addison Leitch said,
'somebody has to die.' Life requires countless 'little' deaths -
occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to
God...It is not that everything that has anything to do with ourselves
is in itself wicked and deserving of death. It did not mean that when
Jesus said, 'Not my will...' There could not have been even the
smallest part of His will that was wicked. It was a choice to lay
down everything - the good He had done and the good He might do if He
was permitted to live - for the love of God...There is a big however.
It is this: We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God
could not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath
of life. We die in order to live."
"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear
uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting
the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts."
"Tomorrow was not our business; it was His. Letting it rest with Him
was the discipline for the day, and it was enough."
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
a good poem I found in the depths of my computer
I don't know who wrote it.
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
“Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say, wait!” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!”
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heart?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.”
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WHAT?
I’m needing a “Yes”, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a “No” to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
“I’m wearing of asking! I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed, then, to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want ~
But, you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You’d never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, “My grace is sufficient for thee.”
Yes, your dreams for your loved one
Overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss, If I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, “Wait.”
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
“Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say, wait!” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!”
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heart?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.”
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WHAT?
I’m needing a “Yes”, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a “No” to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
“I’m wearing of asking! I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed, then, to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want ~
But, you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You’d never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, “My grace is sufficient for thee.”
Yes, your dreams for your loved one
Overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss, If I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, “Wait.”
Monday, November 30, 2009
comfort & joy
God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
In Bethlehem, in Israel,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
From God our Heavenly Father
A blessed Angel came;
And unto certain Shepherds
Brought tidings of the same:
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by Name.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
"Fear not then," said the Angel,
"Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of a pure Virgin bright,
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan's power and might."
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding
In tempest, storm and wind:
And went to Bethlehem straightway
The Son of God to find.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
And when they came to Bethlehem
Where our dear Saviour lay,
They found Him in a manger,
Where oxen feed on hay;
His Mother Mary kneeling down,
Unto the Lord did pray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
Thursday, November 26, 2009
in honour of the day
things I am thankful for:
not having to be perfect
wassail punch
my job
piano hymn books
my life group
God's steadfast love and continual presence
unexpected friendships
the Book Corner at the Yorba Linda Public Library
jigsaw puzzles
Home Improvement on DVD
Martin in all his glory
space heaters
C.S. Lewis
the Braveheart soundtrack
kindred spirits
school being almost over
grace
whipped cream
hymns
not having it all figured out
Doheny
poetry
my parents
Campus by the Sea
nail polish that makes my nails look decent
Belle and Lou
friends in varying states and countries
the cross & the empty tomb
chivalry
God's plan for His life lived in me
Thai food
allegories that teach me so much
my garage lair
not having to be perfect
wassail punch
my job
piano hymn books
my life group
God's steadfast love and continual presence
unexpected friendships
the Book Corner at the Yorba Linda Public Library
jigsaw puzzles
Home Improvement on DVD
Martin in all his glory
space heaters
C.S. Lewis
the Braveheart soundtrack
kindred spirits
school being almost over
grace
whipped cream
hymns
not having it all figured out
Doheny
poetry
my parents
Campus by the Sea
nail polish that makes my nails look decent
Belle and Lou
friends in varying states and countries
the cross & the empty tomb
chivalry
God's plan for His life lived in me
Thai food
allegories that teach me so much
my garage lair
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
right now
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Friday, November 6, 2009
favourites from Mere Christianity
"If the universe is not governed by an absolute goodness, then all our efforts are in the long run hopeless...God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most want to hide from. He is our only possible ally, and we have made ourselves his enemies. Some people talk as if meeting the gaze of absolute goodness would be fun. They need to think again. They are still only playing with religion. Goodness is either the great safety or the great danger - according to the way you react to it."
"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
"That is why Christians are told not to judge. We see only the results which a man's choices make out of his raw material. But God does not judge him on the raw material at all, but on what he has done with it. Most of the man's psychological makeup is probably due to his body: when his body dies all that will fall off him, and the real central man, the thing that chose, that made the best or worst out of this material, will stand naked. All sorts of nice things which we thought our own, but which were really due to a good digestion, will fall off some of us: all sorts of nasty things which were due to complexes or bad health will fall off others. We shall then, for the first time, see every one as he really was. There will be surprises."
"Christianity is almost the only one of the great religions which thoroughly approves of the body - which believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body, that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, or beauty and our energy."
"...what really matters is those little marks or twists on the central, inside part of the soul which are going to turn it, in the long run, into a heavenly or hellish creature."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world."
"Now faith...is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change, whatever view your reason takes."
"...if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already."
"...if what you call your 'faith' in Christ does not involve taking the slightest notice of what He says, then it is not Faith at all - not faith or trust in Him, but only intellectual acceptance of some theory about Him."
"It is only the Christians who have any idea of how human souls can be taken into the life of God and yet remain themselves - in fact, be very much more themselves than they were before."
"...the instrument through which you see God is your whole self. And if a man's self is not kept clean and bright, his glimpse of God will be blurred - like the Moon seen through a dirty telescope."
"And then, after being thus killed - killed every day in a sense - the human creature in Him, because it was united to the divine Son, came to life again. The Man in Christ rose again: not only the God. That is the whole point. For the first time we saw a real man."
"There are lots of things which your conscience might not call definitely wrong (specially things in your mind) but which you will see at once you cannot go on doing if you are seriously trying to be like Christ...it is more like painting a portrait than like obeying a set of rules."
"...the real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."
"...no possible degree of holiness or heroism which has ever been recorded of the greatest saints is beyond what He is determined to produce in every one of us in the end."
"There are people in other religions who are being led by God's secret influence to concentrate on those parts of their religion which are in agreement with Christianity, and who thus belong to Christ without knowing it."
"Often people who have all these natural kinds of goodness cannot be brought to recognize their need for Christ at all until, one day, the natural goodness lets them down and their self-satisfaction is shattered."
"Their very voices and faces are different from ours: stronger, quieter, happier, and more radiant...They will not be very like the idea of 'religious people' which you have formed from your general reading. They do not draw attention to themselves. You tend to think that you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to you. They love you more than other men do, but they need you less...they recognize one another immediately and infallibly, across every barrier of color, sex, class, age, and even of creeds. In that way, to become holy is rather like joining a secret society. To put it at the very lowest, it must be great fun."
"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
"That is why Christians are told not to judge. We see only the results which a man's choices make out of his raw material. But God does not judge him on the raw material at all, but on what he has done with it. Most of the man's psychological makeup is probably due to his body: when his body dies all that will fall off him, and the real central man, the thing that chose, that made the best or worst out of this material, will stand naked. All sorts of nice things which we thought our own, but which were really due to a good digestion, will fall off some of us: all sorts of nasty things which were due to complexes or bad health will fall off others. We shall then, for the first time, see every one as he really was. There will be surprises."
"Christianity is almost the only one of the great religions which thoroughly approves of the body - which believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body, that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, or beauty and our energy."
"...what really matters is those little marks or twists on the central, inside part of the soul which are going to turn it, in the long run, into a heavenly or hellish creature."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world."
"Now faith...is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change, whatever view your reason takes."
"...if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already."
"...if what you call your 'faith' in Christ does not involve taking the slightest notice of what He says, then it is not Faith at all - not faith or trust in Him, but only intellectual acceptance of some theory about Him."
"It is only the Christians who have any idea of how human souls can be taken into the life of God and yet remain themselves - in fact, be very much more themselves than they were before."
"...the instrument through which you see God is your whole self. And if a man's self is not kept clean and bright, his glimpse of God will be blurred - like the Moon seen through a dirty telescope."
"And then, after being thus killed - killed every day in a sense - the human creature in Him, because it was united to the divine Son, came to life again. The Man in Christ rose again: not only the God. That is the whole point. For the first time we saw a real man."
"There are lots of things which your conscience might not call definitely wrong (specially things in your mind) but which you will see at once you cannot go on doing if you are seriously trying to be like Christ...it is more like painting a portrait than like obeying a set of rules."
"...the real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."
"...no possible degree of holiness or heroism which has ever been recorded of the greatest saints is beyond what He is determined to produce in every one of us in the end."
"There are people in other religions who are being led by God's secret influence to concentrate on those parts of their religion which are in agreement with Christianity, and who thus belong to Christ without knowing it."
"Often people who have all these natural kinds of goodness cannot be brought to recognize their need for Christ at all until, one day, the natural goodness lets them down and their self-satisfaction is shattered."
"Their very voices and faces are different from ours: stronger, quieter, happier, and more radiant...They will not be very like the idea of 'religious people' which you have formed from your general reading. They do not draw attention to themselves. You tend to think that you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to you. They love you more than other men do, but they need you less...they recognize one another immediately and infallibly, across every barrier of color, sex, class, age, and even of creeds. In that way, to become holy is rather like joining a secret society. To put it at the very lowest, it must be great fun."
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
tuesday night
I was bored in class today, and thinking about things and money and places and people.
So I wrote an outline for what I expected my life to look like from the perspective of when I moved home from Canada and first began to adjust to life here.
Sometimes when you write out your thoughts, you realize how ridiculous they are.
Or how sensible.
My thoughts today were a mixture of those two qualities, and as I planned out my life until about 2013 I realized something new:
I have no idea what God is doing here. Truly. I really don't know.
I never thought my life would look like this. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Cal State Fullerton is just as disappointing as I expected it to be. I like my professors and (some of) my classes, but Trinity was the perfect fit for me.
I still miss Trinity incredibly, and the thought that I have to be at CSUF for another year at least is really daunting. My GPA is slipping out of pure apathy. Paying for school drains my savings account every month, and I still don't even own a car. I love my family, but living at home is not something I want to do till I'm 25. I desperately miss my friends who reside in different states and countries.
BUT luckily God is the one in control, not me. The sermon at RockHarbor on Sunday was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was a reminder that my life isn't mine to worry about. God loves me, and He has a plan that is BETTER THAN MINE.
I keep telling myself that, hoping it will sink in. I know that He is good. He's shown me that more times than I can count. And strangely, I'm finding a peace in the chaos that is my life right now.
"Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."
So I wrote an outline for what I expected my life to look like from the perspective of when I moved home from Canada and first began to adjust to life here.
Sometimes when you write out your thoughts, you realize how ridiculous they are.
Or how sensible.
My thoughts today were a mixture of those two qualities, and as I planned out my life until about 2013 I realized something new:
I have no idea what God is doing here. Truly. I really don't know.
I never thought my life would look like this. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Cal State Fullerton is just as disappointing as I expected it to be. I like my professors and (some of) my classes, but Trinity was the perfect fit for me.
I still miss Trinity incredibly, and the thought that I have to be at CSUF for another year at least is really daunting. My GPA is slipping out of pure apathy. Paying for school drains my savings account every month, and I still don't even own a car. I love my family, but living at home is not something I want to do till I'm 25. I desperately miss my friends who reside in different states and countries.
BUT luckily God is the one in control, not me. The sermon at RockHarbor on Sunday was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was a reminder that my life isn't mine to worry about. God loves me, and He has a plan that is BETTER THAN MINE.
I keep telling myself that, hoping it will sink in. I know that He is good. He's shown me that more times than I can count. And strangely, I'm finding a peace in the chaos that is my life right now.
"Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."
Friday, October 30, 2009
C.S. Lewis Song by Brooke Fraser
If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we'd better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we'd better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
charity
“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditure excludes them. I am speaking now of ‘charities’ in the common way.”
-C.S. Lewis
-C.S. Lewis
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
John Donne favourites - prose
"He brought light out of darkness, not out of a lesser light; he can bring thy Summer out of Winter, though thou have no Spring; though in the ways of fortune, or understanding, of conscience, thou have been benighted till now, wintered and frozen, clouded and eclipsed, damped and benumbed, smothered and stupefied till now, now God comes to thee, not as in the dawning of the day, not as in the bud of the spring, but as the Sun at noon to illustrate all shadows, as the sheaves in harvest, to fill all penury's, all occasions invite his mercies, and all times are his seasons."
"What a death is this life! what a resurrection in this death! For though this world be a sea, yet (which is most strange) our Harbor is larger than the sea; Heaven infinitely larger than this world."
"God hath not made a week without a Sabbath; no temptation, without an issue; God inflicts no calamity, no cloud, no eclipse, without light, to see ease in it, if the patient will look upon that which God hath done to him, in other cases, or to that which God hath done to others, at other times...God brings us to humiliation, but not to desperation."
"The whole frame of the world is the Theatre, and every creature the stage, the medium, the glass in which we may see God."
"The whole frame of nature is the Theatre, the whole Volume of creatures is the glass, and the light of nature, reason, is our light, which is another Circumstance."
"Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification; and as without this, without holiness, no man shall see God, though he pore whole nights upon the Bible; so without that, without humility, no man shall hear God speak to his soul, though he hear three two hours' Sermons every day."
"As I live saith the Lord, I would have no sinner die."
"That soul, that is accustomed to direct herself to God, upon every occasion, that, as a flower at Sun-rising, conceives a sense of God, in every beam of his, and spreads and dilates itself towards him, in a thankfulness, in every small blessing that he sheds upon her; that soul, that as a flower at the Suns declining, contracts and gathers in, and shuts up her self, as though she had received a blow, when soever she hears her Savior wounded by an oath, or blasphemy, or execration; that soul, who, whatsoever string be strucken in her, base or treble, her high or her low estate, is ever tun'd toward God, that soul prays sometimes when it does not know what it prays."
"What a death is this life! what a resurrection in this death! For though this world be a sea, yet (which is most strange) our Harbor is larger than the sea; Heaven infinitely larger than this world."
"God hath not made a week without a Sabbath; no temptation, without an issue; God inflicts no calamity, no cloud, no eclipse, without light, to see ease in it, if the patient will look upon that which God hath done to him, in other cases, or to that which God hath done to others, at other times...God brings us to humiliation, but not to desperation."
"The whole frame of the world is the Theatre, and every creature the stage, the medium, the glass in which we may see God."
"The whole frame of nature is the Theatre, the whole Volume of creatures is the glass, and the light of nature, reason, is our light, which is another Circumstance."
"Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification; and as without this, without holiness, no man shall see God, though he pore whole nights upon the Bible; so without that, without humility, no man shall hear God speak to his soul, though he hear three two hours' Sermons every day."
"As I live saith the Lord, I would have no sinner die."
"That soul, that is accustomed to direct herself to God, upon every occasion, that, as a flower at Sun-rising, conceives a sense of God, in every beam of his, and spreads and dilates itself towards him, in a thankfulness, in every small blessing that he sheds upon her; that soul, that as a flower at the Suns declining, contracts and gathers in, and shuts up her self, as though she had received a blow, when soever she hears her Savior wounded by an oath, or blasphemy, or execration; that soul, who, whatsoever string be strucken in her, base or treble, her high or her low estate, is ever tun'd toward God, that soul prays sometimes when it does not know what it prays."
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Oswald today
The whole thing merits posting.
"THE DISCIPLINE OF DIFFICULTY"
"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"An average view of the Christian life is that it means deliverance from trouble. It is deliverance in trouble, which is very different. "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High . . . there shall no evil befall thee" - no plague can come nigh the place where you are at one with God.
If you are a child of God, there certainly will be troubles to meet, but Jesus says do not be surprised when they come. "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world, there is nothing for you to fear." Men who before they were saved would scorn to talk about troubles, often become "fushionless" after being born again because they have a wrong idea of a saint.
God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength. Are you asking God to give you life and liberty and joy? He cannot, unless you will accept the strain. Immediately you face the strain, you will get the strength. Overcome your own timidity and take the step, and God will give you to eat of the tree of life and you will get nourishment. If you spend yourself out physically, you become exhausted; but spend yourself spiritually, and you get more strength. God never gives strength for to-morrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute. The temptation is to face difficulties from a common-sense standpoint. The saint is hilarious when he is crushed with difficulties because the thing is so ludicrously impossible to anyone but God."
wow.
"THE DISCIPLINE OF DIFFICULTY"
"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"An average view of the Christian life is that it means deliverance from trouble. It is deliverance in trouble, which is very different. "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High . . . there shall no evil befall thee" - no plague can come nigh the place where you are at one with God.
If you are a child of God, there certainly will be troubles to meet, but Jesus says do not be surprised when they come. "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world, there is nothing for you to fear." Men who before they were saved would scorn to talk about troubles, often become "fushionless" after being born again because they have a wrong idea of a saint.
God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength. Are you asking God to give you life and liberty and joy? He cannot, unless you will accept the strain. Immediately you face the strain, you will get the strength. Overcome your own timidity and take the step, and God will give you to eat of the tree of life and you will get nourishment. If you spend yourself out physically, you become exhausted; but spend yourself spiritually, and you get more strength. God never gives strength for to-morrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute. The temptation is to face difficulties from a common-sense standpoint. The saint is hilarious when he is crushed with difficulties because the thing is so ludicrously impossible to anyone but God."
wow.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
hmm.
When he gets to his pew and looks round him he sees just that selection of his neighbours whom he has hitherto avoided. You want to lean pretty heavily on those neightbours. Make his mind flit to and fro between an expression like ‘the body of Christ’ and the actual faces on the next pew. It matters very little, of course, what kind of people that next pew really contains. You may know one of them to be a great warrior on the Enemy’s side. No matter. Your patient, thanks to Our Father Below, is a fool. Provided that any of those neighbors sing out of tune, or have boots that squeak, or double chins, or odd clothes, the patient will quite easily believe that their religion must therefore be somehow ridiculous.
This is from The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis.
What would it mean to be "a great warrior on [God's] side" ?
This is from The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis.
What would it mean to be "a great warrior on [God's] side" ?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
lovers so less wild
I'm very blog-ey this week, first of all.
Thought of the day: why do I go to anything and everything besides God to fill the lonely void inside of me? It's only after I've clicked on every facebook link and searched for fulfillment from every meaningless thing that I think to go to the one Person that can actually meet that need in me! Duh, Elsa!
I'm getting back to the place where I want it to be just Him and me, no one else. Ironically, as my life has become more simple with the summer, it has become more cluttered with meaningless things that I somehow fill my days with.
He is the last place I go to, the last Name I call. I can read about Him all I like, but it is somehow much harder to me to sit down and just talk to Him. It's easier to relate to Him as a vending machine or an ATM then as a Person, as THE Person.
Why?
Another mystery of my fallen self, I guess.
But thankfully, He's always there when I stroll, meander, or run back to Him. No lectures, no condemnations, just delight.
And thankfully, each time I get in that place of loneliness again, it becomes easier to choose Him first.
"Take my self and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee"
Ever
Only
All
for Him.
I want that now more than anything else.
Thought of the day: why do I go to anything and everything besides God to fill the lonely void inside of me? It's only after I've clicked on every facebook link and searched for fulfillment from every meaningless thing that I think to go to the one Person that can actually meet that need in me! Duh, Elsa!
I'm getting back to the place where I want it to be just Him and me, no one else. Ironically, as my life has become more simple with the summer, it has become more cluttered with meaningless things that I somehow fill my days with.
He is the last place I go to, the last Name I call. I can read about Him all I like, but it is somehow much harder to me to sit down and just talk to Him. It's easier to relate to Him as a vending machine or an ATM then as a Person, as THE Person.
Why?
Another mystery of my fallen self, I guess.
But thankfully, He's always there when I stroll, meander, or run back to Him. No lectures, no condemnations, just delight.
And thankfully, each time I get in that place of loneliness again, it becomes easier to choose Him first.
"Take my self and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee"
Ever
Only
All
for Him.
I want that now more than anything else.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
New Men
from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
"Already the new men are dotted here and there all over the earth. Some, as I have admitted, are still hardly recognizable, but others can be recognized. Every now and then one meets them. Their very voices and faces are different than ours: stronger, quieter, happier, more radiant. They begin where most of us leave off. They are, I say, recognizable; but you must know what to look for.
They will not be very like the idea of 'religious people' which you have formed from your general reading. They do not draw attention to themselves. You tend to think that you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to you. They love you more than other men do, but they need you less...They will usually seem to have a lot of time; you will wonder where it comes from. When you have recognized one of them, you will recognize the next one much more easily. And I strongly suspect (but how should I know?) that they recognize one another immediately and infallibly, across every barrier of color, sex, class, age, and even of creeds. In that way, to become holy is rather like joining a secret society. To put it at the very lowest, it must be great fun."
"Already the new men are dotted here and there all over the earth. Some, as I have admitted, are still hardly recognizable, but others can be recognized. Every now and then one meets them. Their very voices and faces are different than ours: stronger, quieter, happier, more radiant. They begin where most of us leave off. They are, I say, recognizable; but you must know what to look for.
They will not be very like the idea of 'religious people' which you have formed from your general reading. They do not draw attention to themselves. You tend to think that you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to you. They love you more than other men do, but they need you less...They will usually seem to have a lot of time; you will wonder where it comes from. When you have recognized one of them, you will recognize the next one much more easily. And I strongly suspect (but how should I know?) that they recognize one another immediately and infallibly, across every barrier of color, sex, class, age, and even of creeds. In that way, to become holy is rather like joining a secret society. To put it at the very lowest, it must be great fun."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
convicting.
from the Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer
"A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relations with God. We read our chapters, have our short devotions and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting of listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar...
Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image. The flesh whimpers against the rigor of God's inexorable sentence and begs like Agag for a little mercy, a little indulgence of its carnal ways. It is no use. We can get a right start only by accepting God as He is and learning to love Him for what He is. As we go on to know Him better we shall find it a source of unspeakable joy that God is just what He is. Some of the most rapturous moments we know will be those we spend in reverent admiration of the Godhead. In those holy moments the very thought of change in Him will be too painful to endure."
"A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relations with God. We read our chapters, have our short devotions and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting of listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar...
Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image. The flesh whimpers against the rigor of God's inexorable sentence and begs like Agag for a little mercy, a little indulgence of its carnal ways. It is no use. We can get a right start only by accepting God as He is and learning to love Him for what He is. As we go on to know Him better we shall find it a source of unspeakable joy that God is just what He is. Some of the most rapturous moments we know will be those we spend in reverent admiration of the Godhead. In those holy moments the very thought of change in Him will be too painful to endure."
Friday, June 5, 2009
favorite song ever
"Love Song for a Savior" by Jars of Clay
In open fields of wild flowers,
She breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
In no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
Who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
To show my devotion
"I want to fall in love with You"
"My heart beats for You"
In open fields of wild flowers,
She breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
In no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
Who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
To show my devotion
"I want to fall in love with You"
"My heart beats for You"
Thursday, May 28, 2009
playlist for novel-writing
I'm trying to write my first-ever novel! It's something I've always wanted to do, but I'm really truly pursuing it for the first time.
This is my ideal playlist for novel-writing:
1. Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
2. All We Are - Matt Nathanson
3. Chocolate - Snow Patrol
4. the Dance - Rachel Portman - Emma Soundtrack
5. Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls
6. Father I Adore You - Matt Brouwer
7. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
8. Falling Apart - Matt Nathanson
9. the Legend Spreads - James Horner - Braveheart soundtrack
10. Primavera Anticipada - Laura Pausini & James Blunt
11. Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee - Charlie Hall
12. If I Had Words - James Cromwell - Babe soundtrack
13. End Titles - Rachel Portman - Emma Soundtrack
14. Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay
15. Jesus Saves - Tim Hughes
17. End Credits - James Horner - the Braveheart Soundtrack
18. Everything - Lifehouse
19. O, For A Thousand Tongues to Sing - David Crowder
20. Be Thou My Vision - 4HIM
21. Sooner Surrender - Matt Nathanson
22. Ode to Joy - Beecham Choral Society
23. the Homecoming - George Fenton - Ever After Soundtrack
24. Outlawed Tunes on Outlawed Pipes - James Horner - Braveheart Soundtrack
25. Jesus Paid it All - Kristian Stanfill
26. Paperback Writer - the Beatles
27. Love Me Do - the Beatles
28. the Holly and the Ivy - George Winston
On a different and unrelated note - if anyone knows any good websites with eighteenth-century slang, let me know! :)
This is my ideal playlist for novel-writing:
1. Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
2. All We Are - Matt Nathanson
3. Chocolate - Snow Patrol
4. the Dance - Rachel Portman - Emma Soundtrack
5. Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls
6. Father I Adore You - Matt Brouwer
7. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
8. Falling Apart - Matt Nathanson
9. the Legend Spreads - James Horner - Braveheart soundtrack
10. Primavera Anticipada - Laura Pausini & James Blunt
11. Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee - Charlie Hall
12. If I Had Words - James Cromwell - Babe soundtrack
13. End Titles - Rachel Portman - Emma Soundtrack
14. Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay
15. Jesus Saves - Tim Hughes
17. End Credits - James Horner - the Braveheart Soundtrack
18. Everything - Lifehouse
19. O, For A Thousand Tongues to Sing - David Crowder
20. Be Thou My Vision - 4HIM
21. Sooner Surrender - Matt Nathanson
22. Ode to Joy - Beecham Choral Society
23. the Homecoming - George Fenton - Ever After Soundtrack
24. Outlawed Tunes on Outlawed Pipes - James Horner - Braveheart Soundtrack
25. Jesus Paid it All - Kristian Stanfill
26. Paperback Writer - the Beatles
27. Love Me Do - the Beatles
28. the Holly and the Ivy - George Winston
On a different and unrelated note - if anyone knows any good websites with eighteenth-century slang, let me know! :)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
hope
"Hope" is the thing with feathers --
That perches in the soul --
And sings the tune without the words --
And never stops at all --
-Emily Dickinson
That perches in the soul --
And sings the tune without the words --
And never stops at all --
-Emily Dickinson
Friday, May 1, 2009
Friday night
I can hear the Disneyland fireworks, as usual.
Janey is terrified of ceiling fans.
Hillary Duff can NOT act.
I get my new computer tomorrow!
G.K. Chesterton is amazing.
Should I write my paper on Ralph Nickleby, or Ebenezer Scrooge? Or both?
Falling asleep to the sound of the rain on the roof is lovely.
When was the last time I went running?
Work is good for me.
Too many books checked out from the library.
Martin doesn't like the new coffee cake muffin.
I watch movies that I know are lame, and I still enjoy them. Hm.
Chocolate frozen yogurt with almonds is my new combo.
What is the point of Twitter?
"Marius" and "Guenevere" are officially added to my favorite names list.
Isaiah. Enough said.
Writer's block really does exist.
But, most of all:
All is well.
Janey is terrified of ceiling fans.
Hillary Duff can NOT act.
I get my new computer tomorrow!
G.K. Chesterton is amazing.
Should I write my paper on Ralph Nickleby, or Ebenezer Scrooge? Or both?
Falling asleep to the sound of the rain on the roof is lovely.
When was the last time I went running?
Work is good for me.
Too many books checked out from the library.
Martin doesn't like the new coffee cake muffin.
I watch movies that I know are lame, and I still enjoy them. Hm.
Chocolate frozen yogurt with almonds is my new combo.
What is the point of Twitter?
"Marius" and "Guenevere" are officially added to my favorite names list.
Isaiah. Enough said.
Writer's block really does exist.
But, most of all:
All is well.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
were
"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."
-1 Corinthians 6:9-11
-1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Ebenezer
"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."
words by Robert Robinson
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."
words by Robert Robinson
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
on love
I am an unabashed consumer of "love." As I read magazines and watch chick flicks, I am buying and consuming what they are selling: "love." I've started to realize, though, that this "love" is not Love at all. I don't even know what it is, but, upon examination, this cheap imitation does not even resemble true Love. This manufactured "love," as seen on the movie screen and in the magazine article, is often selfish, superficial, and temporary. If I consume "love" in large enough quantities, I can trick myself into believing that this is the best we can hope for from el amor. But as I've spent more time in the presence of Love Himself, I find myself wanting to jump up from my padded movie theatre seat, dump my Mike 'n Ikes on the floor, point my finger like a saber at the screen and yell
"THAT
IS
NOT
LOVE!"
Now that I know more than ever what true Love is like, this "love" disgusts me even more. I'm not condemning all chick flicks and magazines -- indeed, some of them do paint beautiful picture of kind, self-sacrificial, eternal Love. But for the most part, these images that our culture is selling us -- "love," "romance," and "happiness" -- are like Sprite Zero.
The restaurant I work at started selling Sprite Zero recently, and I had the opportunity to try it for the first time.
Gross.
Absolutely disgusting.
My first thought was "Why would ANYONE ever want to drink this?".
I'm a bit addicted to real Sprite, so the contrast between the imitation sugar and the real sweetness was harsh to me. I realized, though, as I downed Hi-C fruit punch from the next spout over to cover the lingering aftertaste, that this disgusting imitation of my beloved soft drink is a lot like "love."
In fact, I think I watched a movie on a plane a few years ago (now I'm sorry if you liked this movie - I really didn't) that was actually called "A Lot Like Love." I wouldn't be so generous, but I think that this title comes the closest to an accurate representation of the contents of that movie than other titles I've seen.
As I was a little bit bored that particular day at work, I pursued my train of thought even further. If I'd never tried Sprite (well, actually, if I'd never tried sugar at all), then (maybe) Sprite Zero would actually taste okay. Or if it'd been a long time since I'd tried decent soda, I might even like the imitation flavor of Zero.
In the same way, the more time I spend away from Love, the more appealing "love" seems. This is probably a flawed metaphor, as Sprite is actually really bad for you whereas Love is the best thing there is, but it'll have to do.
I have to spend as much time as possible in the presence of Love. And I have to stop consuming "love" - I know I hate it, so why should I force myself to get used to it? I'd rather drink Sprite any day.
Now I'd love to point out some particularly sickening examples of "love" in movies and magazines, but in doing so I'd be committing one of my biggest pet peeves. It's so easy to point fingers and bash the "shallow," "materialistic" content of specific movies or books, but it doesn't really help anyone. I generally don't respect any author that spends an entire book pointing out the evils of "today's society" or "culture" without proposing a solution or even an alternative.
So I'm not going to do that.
This is more of a reminder to myself than anything else: don't listen to anyone and anything that tries to tell you that "love" is Love. If you believe them, you'll waste time and miss out.
And keep drinking Sprite.
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to ev'ry wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
-Shakespeare
"THAT
IS
NOT
LOVE!"
Now that I know more than ever what true Love is like, this "love" disgusts me even more. I'm not condemning all chick flicks and magazines -- indeed, some of them do paint beautiful picture of kind, self-sacrificial, eternal Love. But for the most part, these images that our culture is selling us -- "love," "romance," and "happiness" -- are like Sprite Zero.
The restaurant I work at started selling Sprite Zero recently, and I had the opportunity to try it for the first time.
Gross.
Absolutely disgusting.
My first thought was "Why would ANYONE ever want to drink this?".
I'm a bit addicted to real Sprite, so the contrast between the imitation sugar and the real sweetness was harsh to me. I realized, though, as I downed Hi-C fruit punch from the next spout over to cover the lingering aftertaste, that this disgusting imitation of my beloved soft drink is a lot like "love."
In fact, I think I watched a movie on a plane a few years ago (now I'm sorry if you liked this movie - I really didn't) that was actually called "A Lot Like Love." I wouldn't be so generous, but I think that this title comes the closest to an accurate representation of the contents of that movie than other titles I've seen.
As I was a little bit bored that particular day at work, I pursued my train of thought even further. If I'd never tried Sprite (well, actually, if I'd never tried sugar at all), then (maybe) Sprite Zero would actually taste okay. Or if it'd been a long time since I'd tried decent soda, I might even like the imitation flavor of Zero.
In the same way, the more time I spend away from Love, the more appealing "love" seems. This is probably a flawed metaphor, as Sprite is actually really bad for you whereas Love is the best thing there is, but it'll have to do.
I have to spend as much time as possible in the presence of Love. And I have to stop consuming "love" - I know I hate it, so why should I force myself to get used to it? I'd rather drink Sprite any day.
Now I'd love to point out some particularly sickening examples of "love" in movies and magazines, but in doing so I'd be committing one of my biggest pet peeves. It's so easy to point fingers and bash the "shallow," "materialistic" content of specific movies or books, but it doesn't really help anyone. I generally don't respect any author that spends an entire book pointing out the evils of "today's society" or "culture" without proposing a solution or even an alternative.
So I'm not going to do that.
This is more of a reminder to myself than anything else: don't listen to anyone and anything that tries to tell you that "love" is Love. If you believe them, you'll waste time and miss out.
And keep drinking Sprite.
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to ev'ry wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
-Shakespeare
Thursday, January 29, 2009
one of my favorite parts of Nicholas Nickleby
Background: Nicholas is a teacher in a school run by the evil Mr. Squeers, a n abusive man who has been especially cruel to a crippled boy named Smike. Smike has attempted to escape the school and Squeers has tracked him down and is about to flog him.
"'Is every boy here?' asked Squeers, in a tremendous voice.
Every boy was there, but every boy was afraid to speak; so Squeers glared along the lines to assure himself, and every eye drooped and every head cowered down as he did so.
'Each boy keep his place,' said Squeers, administering his favorite blow to the desk, and regarding with gloomy satisfaction the universal start which it never failed to occasion. 'Nickleby! to your desk, sir.'
It was remarked by more than one small observer, that there was a very curious and unusual expression in the usher's face, but he took his seat without opening his lips in reply; and Squeers casting a triumphant glance at his assistant and a look of most comprehensive despotism on the boys, left the room, and shortly afterwords returned dragging Smike by the collar - or rather by that fragment of his jacket which was nearest the place where his collar would have been, had he boasted such a decoration.
In any other place the appearance of the wretched, jaded, spiritless object would have occasioned a murmur of compassion and remonstrance. It had some effect even there; for the lookers-on moved uneasily in their seats, and a few of the boldest ventured to steal looks at each other, expressive of indignation and pity.
They were lost on Squeers, however, whose gaze was fastened on the luckless Smike as he inquired, according to custom in such cases, whether he had anything to say for himself.
'Nothing, I suppose?' said Squeers, with a diabolical grin.
Smike glancd round, and his eye rested for an instant on Nicholas, as if he had expected him to intercede; but his look was riveted on his desk.
'Have you anything to say?' demanded Squeers again: giving his right arm two or three flourishes to try its power and suppleness. 'Stand a little out of the way, Mrs. Squeers, my dear; I've hardly got room enough.'
'Spare me, sir!' cried Smike.
'Oh! That's all, is it?' said Squeers. 'Yes, I'll flog you within an inch of your life, and spare you that.'
'Ha, ha,ha,' laughed Mrs. Squeers, 'that's a good 'un.'
'I was driven to do it,' said Smike faintly; and casting another imploring look about him.
'Driven to do it, were you?' said Squeers. 'Oh! it wasn't your fault; it was mine, I suppose - eh?'
'A nasty, ungrateful, pig-headed, brutish, obstinate, sneaking dog,' exclaimed Mrs. Squeers, taking Smike's head under her arm, and administering a cuff at every epithet; 'what does he mean by that?'
'Stand aside, my dear,' replied Squeers. 'We'll try and find out.'
Mrs. Squeers being out of breath with her exertions, complied. Squeers caught the boy firmly in his grip; one desperate cut had fallen on his body - he was wincing from the lash and uttering a scream of pain - it was raised again, and again about to fall - when Nicholas Nickleby suddenly starting up, cried 'Stop!' in a voice that made the rafters ring.
'Who cried stop?' said Squeers, turning savagely round.
'I,' said Nicholas, stepping forward. 'This must not go on.'
'Must not go on!' cried Squeers, almost in a shriek.
'No!' thundered Nicholas.
Aghast and stupefied by the boldness of the interference, Squeers released his hold of Smike, and falling back a pace or two, gazed upon Nicholas with looks that were positively frightful.
'I say must not,' repeated Nicholas, nothing daunted;'shall not. I will prevent it.'
Squeers continued to gaze upon him, with his eyes starting out of his head; but astonishment had actually for the moment bereft him of speech.
'You have disregarded all my quiet interference in the miserable lad's behalf,' said Nicholas; 'returned no answer to the letter in which I begged forgiveness for him,and offered to be responsible that he would remain quietly here. Don't blame me for this public interference. You have brought it upon yourself; not I.'
'Sit down, beggar!' screamed Squeers, almost beside himself with rage, and seizing Smike as he spoke.
'Wretch,' rejoined Nicholas, fiercely,'touch him at your peril! I will not stand by and see it done; my blood is up, and I have the strength of ten such men as you. Look to yourself, for by Heaven I will not spare you, if you drive me on.'
'Stand back,' cried Squeers, brandishing his weapon.
'I have a long series of insults to avenge,' said Nicholas, flushed with passion; 'and my indignation is aggravated by the dastardly cruelties practised on helpless infancy in this foul den. Have a care; for if you do raise the devil within me, the consequences shall fall heavily upon your own head.'"
by Charles Dickens
"'Is every boy here?' asked Squeers, in a tremendous voice.
Every boy was there, but every boy was afraid to speak; so Squeers glared along the lines to assure himself, and every eye drooped and every head cowered down as he did so.
'Each boy keep his place,' said Squeers, administering his favorite blow to the desk, and regarding with gloomy satisfaction the universal start which it never failed to occasion. 'Nickleby! to your desk, sir.'
It was remarked by more than one small observer, that there was a very curious and unusual expression in the usher's face, but he took his seat without opening his lips in reply; and Squeers casting a triumphant glance at his assistant and a look of most comprehensive despotism on the boys, left the room, and shortly afterwords returned dragging Smike by the collar - or rather by that fragment of his jacket which was nearest the place where his collar would have been, had he boasted such a decoration.
In any other place the appearance of the wretched, jaded, spiritless object would have occasioned a murmur of compassion and remonstrance. It had some effect even there; for the lookers-on moved uneasily in their seats, and a few of the boldest ventured to steal looks at each other, expressive of indignation and pity.
They were lost on Squeers, however, whose gaze was fastened on the luckless Smike as he inquired, according to custom in such cases, whether he had anything to say for himself.
'Nothing, I suppose?' said Squeers, with a diabolical grin.
Smike glancd round, and his eye rested for an instant on Nicholas, as if he had expected him to intercede; but his look was riveted on his desk.
'Have you anything to say?' demanded Squeers again: giving his right arm two or three flourishes to try its power and suppleness. 'Stand a little out of the way, Mrs. Squeers, my dear; I've hardly got room enough.'
'Spare me, sir!' cried Smike.
'Oh! That's all, is it?' said Squeers. 'Yes, I'll flog you within an inch of your life, and spare you that.'
'Ha, ha,ha,' laughed Mrs. Squeers, 'that's a good 'un.'
'I was driven to do it,' said Smike faintly; and casting another imploring look about him.
'Driven to do it, were you?' said Squeers. 'Oh! it wasn't your fault; it was mine, I suppose - eh?'
'A nasty, ungrateful, pig-headed, brutish, obstinate, sneaking dog,' exclaimed Mrs. Squeers, taking Smike's head under her arm, and administering a cuff at every epithet; 'what does he mean by that?'
'Stand aside, my dear,' replied Squeers. 'We'll try and find out.'
Mrs. Squeers being out of breath with her exertions, complied. Squeers caught the boy firmly in his grip; one desperate cut had fallen on his body - he was wincing from the lash and uttering a scream of pain - it was raised again, and again about to fall - when Nicholas Nickleby suddenly starting up, cried 'Stop!' in a voice that made the rafters ring.
'Who cried stop?' said Squeers, turning savagely round.
'I,' said Nicholas, stepping forward. 'This must not go on.'
'Must not go on!' cried Squeers, almost in a shriek.
'No!' thundered Nicholas.
Aghast and stupefied by the boldness of the interference, Squeers released his hold of Smike, and falling back a pace or two, gazed upon Nicholas with looks that were positively frightful.
'I say must not,' repeated Nicholas, nothing daunted;'shall not. I will prevent it.'
Squeers continued to gaze upon him, with his eyes starting out of his head; but astonishment had actually for the moment bereft him of speech.
'You have disregarded all my quiet interference in the miserable lad's behalf,' said Nicholas; 'returned no answer to the letter in which I begged forgiveness for him,and offered to be responsible that he would remain quietly here. Don't blame me for this public interference. You have brought it upon yourself; not I.'
'Sit down, beggar!' screamed Squeers, almost beside himself with rage, and seizing Smike as he spoke.
'Wretch,' rejoined Nicholas, fiercely,'touch him at your peril! I will not stand by and see it done; my blood is up, and I have the strength of ten such men as you. Look to yourself, for by Heaven I will not spare you, if you drive me on.'
'Stand back,' cried Squeers, brandishing his weapon.
'I have a long series of insults to avenge,' said Nicholas, flushed with passion; 'and my indignation is aggravated by the dastardly cruelties practised on helpless infancy in this foul den. Have a care; for if you do raise the devil within me, the consequences shall fall heavily upon your own head.'"
by Charles Dickens
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
another list
I was recently inspired by a dear friend to write a life to-do list of sorts...so here goes:
1. read the Brothers Karamazov
2. learn to like most vegetables, or at least broccoli
3. read everything by C.S. Lewis
4. study at Oxford
5. kiss in the rain
6. grow a garden
7. live in a house with wood floors
8. become fluent in Spanish
9. learn German & French
10. volunteer consistently
11. sponsor a child
12. work in a prostitution ministry again
13. learn to do something with my hair
14. run a half-marathon
15. hear Beethoven's 9th performed live
16. run to the Catalina airport from camp
17. go see "A Christmas Carol" as often as possible
18. learn to sail
19. curb my addiction to sugar
20. get better at skiing
21. be able to do at least 5 pushups
22. learn to read Greek & Latin
23. go horseback riding more often
24. learn to draw really well
25. play in a wind ensemble again
26. work at an orphanage
27. get better at sight-reading
28. teach exercise classes
29. get really connected at a church
30. visit rest homes and sing hymns with the old people
31. write a really good novel
32. have a family
33. memorize: Shakespeare's Sonnet 116, Donne's Holy Sonnets, favorite Bible passages
34. fall in love
35. visit colonial towns in New England
36. visit the part of Germany that my family is from (wherever that may be)
37. live in BC or WA again
38. wake up really early without feeling tired
39. graduate with at least a 3.7
40. cook consistently
41. do Outward Bound
42. learn when to use who vs. whom
43. be able to run for an hour straight
44. see Beauty & the Beast the musical
45. read the whole Bible
46. visit Prince Edward Island
47. learn to really waltz, not just fake it :)
48. read more poetry
49. love my family unselfishly
50. tithe consistently
Phew.
1. read the Brothers Karamazov
2. learn to like most vegetables, or at least broccoli
3. read everything by C.S. Lewis
4. study at Oxford
5. kiss in the rain
6. grow a garden
7. live in a house with wood floors
8. become fluent in Spanish
9. learn German & French
10. volunteer consistently
11. sponsor a child
12. work in a prostitution ministry again
13. learn to do something with my hair
14. run a half-marathon
15. hear Beethoven's 9th performed live
16. run to the Catalina airport from camp
17. go see "A Christmas Carol" as often as possible
18. learn to sail
19. curb my addiction to sugar
20. get better at skiing
21. be able to do at least 5 pushups
22. learn to read Greek & Latin
23. go horseback riding more often
24. learn to draw really well
25. play in a wind ensemble again
26. work at an orphanage
27. get better at sight-reading
28. teach exercise classes
29. get really connected at a church
30. visit rest homes and sing hymns with the old people
31. write a really good novel
32. have a family
33. memorize: Shakespeare's Sonnet 116, Donne's Holy Sonnets, favorite Bible passages
34. fall in love
35. visit colonial towns in New England
36. visit the part of Germany that my family is from (wherever that may be)
37. live in BC or WA again
38. wake up really early without feeling tired
39. graduate with at least a 3.7
40. cook consistently
41. do Outward Bound
42. learn when to use who vs. whom
43. be able to run for an hour straight
44. see Beauty & the Beast the musical
45. read the whole Bible
46. visit Prince Edward Island
47. learn to really waltz, not just fake it :)
48. read more poetry
49. love my family unselfishly
50. tithe consistently
Phew.
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